Yo Mama!
by LM Bluejay
Summary: A litte story me and my partner Junityke came up with about the inu characters cap'n on each other during random situations. If you like GOOD jokes then prepare for roars of laughter.
1. Chapter 1

**YOU GOT TORCHED**

**Well come to my fanfic about alot of random stuff happening to Inuyasha and his group. When I say 'random' I mean RANDOM. No ifs ands or buts. Witness how the inu group and others really act towards each other in the battle of DEF Jam 'Yo Moma' like insults, and be prepared for a roar of laughter. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter One - Camping Out

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"Oooo" came the cries of Shippo, Kilala (in here, she can talk), Miroku, and Sango. They were all watching another one of Inuyasha's and Kagome's scenes as the two were brawling it out with verbal attacks. **

"Oh yeah ?", Kagome yelled in a challenging tone. "You're stupid I'd bet that if my mother would've askedYOU to go buy a color tv you'd ask what color?"

"Oooo" came from the group still watching the two have it out. Especially that look Inuyasha had on his face. Boy was he turning red!

It had been a long day for everyone looking for the Shikon Jewel Shards and all; and Inuyasha had to let his oversized ego get in the way once again by downing everyone for being pathetic humans and Shippo for just being lazy.

Naturally Kagome stood up for them but Inuyasha had gone too far when he called her a 'stupid ugly useless worthless piece of crap bitch who will never amount to anything more than a lesbian prostitute in Montana in her time off of her job as a toilet scrubber for a middle-class family with diarrhea on Wednesdays while during the rest of the week she stays in her house selling porn on her webcam using PayPal.'

" What the hell Kagome. I only did that once you filthy litttle wig wearing tramp." Inuyasha shot back.

"You booboo head!" Kagome started. "You condemned self righteous little gay punk who shares a cardboard box with a homosexual ex-stripper in Idaho who works as a minimum wage teacher for retarded abused ugly children withAIDS on weekends while during the week you give blow jobs to overweight Russian guys that watch C-SPAN while scratching their rear ends and who eats out of the trash cans at Denny's while dressed in DRAG!", Kagome exclaimed with neutral expression on her face.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo", Miroku, Sango, and Kilala cheered loudly. Shippo was a little confused because he didn't know what C-SPAN was. Or Montana. Or Idaho. Or PayPal. Or Russian. Or DRAG. Or webcam. Or Porn. Or toilet. Or Prostitute. Or lesbian. Or diarrhea. Or AIDS. Or blow jobs. Or Denny's. Or minimum wage. Or ex-stripper. Or gay (not the happy gay, but the Jakotsu gay) Or Wednesdays.

Inuyasha stood there speachless. Mouth hangin down. So down it looked like it touched the ground. His eyes were nothing but tiny 'x's that screamed 'damn. I can't believe she went there.' (figurative language).

"Hah...ya stupid bastard. What ya gonna say now? I dare you. No no wait. I double dare you to say somethin else, ya dung beetle fucking donkey raping shit eater!", Kagome spat triumphly.

"Woe! Kagome. Who would have thought you had it in you. You scared the sh#$ out of me and I wasn't even the one you were yelling at. So there is a little spice in there after all...huh!" came a voice from the behind the thicket of trees.

It was Kouga. He walked casually up to Kagome and took hold of her hands. "Now that I'm sure you're over that idiot mutt...Kagome will you finally accept to come with me instead?" Kouga asked with sparkles showing in his eyes.

Inuyasha heard those words and jumped up at the wolf as soon as he heard who he thought he heard. His sworn enemy. Kouga. Kouga, who saw Inuyasha coming dodged him easily.

"Errrr you keep the hell away from her doh sh!" Inuyasha bellowed.

"What did you say mutt face?" Kouga yelled getting irritated. "Kagome is MY woman. And NOBODY else's!" he declared.

Kagome just went and sat down with the others around the camp fire. Something told her that she was going to need to sit down for this one.

"Shut Up! You're just mad because you so ugly, yo moma put you next to a piece of crap and said 'twins'", Inuyasha said to Kouga casually.

"YEAH? And you're so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't know which end to slap." Kouga shout back.

Inuyasha: "I'm gonna tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. Oops, my bad -- someone already told you."

Kouga: "Your father is so old, he has to put his dick in theicyest lakein all Japan to get hard."

"Ooooooo" was what was heard coming form Miroku, Sango, Kilala, Shippo, and Kagome as they were recieving the entertainment of a life time.

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From this point on the 'Ooooo's will be done by Miroku, Sango, Kilala, Shippo, and Kagome.

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Inuyasha: "Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!"

Kouga: "Yo mama's underwear is so full of holes that every time she farts they whistle"

"Ooooooooo"

Inuyasha: "OH You wanna talk about Moma. you want to talk about MOMA...well...Yo' Mama is so old, when I told her to act her age she died."

"Ooooooooo"

Kouga: "Yo moma so fat that when you walked around her you got lost."

Inuyasha:"Yo mama's so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was makin' a booty call."

"Oooooo"

Kouga:"Yo Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a species will be extinct."

"OOoooo"

Inuyasha:"Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale."

"OOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo" they roared.

Kouga: "..."

"I hereby claim Inuyasha victor by a verbal knock out." declared Kagome.

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**Hope you enjoyed. Plenty of more to go so Read And Review. Tchao!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **

To all my faithful 'yo moma' jokes readers. I need to know if you guys really, truly liked the story so far. At least about 8 more Reviews will get you geys the next chapter.

So far I got reviews from six non lazy people who appreciate a good insult when they read one:

**Ryuchan22**, **Junityke**, **Playswithfire**, **FluffylovR76,** **star-ship-angel**, and **sugarsweetpie**

Thank you guys for your support!

Getting to the point, I need you guys to Read & Review. Also, I hoping I can get some feedback on the story thus far, and some ideas on future chapters after the second one once it's posted.

Till then...Tchao!


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey. What's up to all my fans. I want to thank y'all for the reviews and for going up to the number I was asking too. I was just playin' but see'in how you guys really like it I'll just change the requirements of updating to just posting at least every other week so keep lookin out. Ideas are still welcomed. Also I got an idea. But wait till the end of this chapter to find out.**

**Disclamer: Don't own inu characters**

**Claimer: Do own most of the jokes.**

**Junityke: Most of them.**

**Lady-Sess08: Whatever! (rolls eyes) **

**Junityke: Don't whatever me. (throws squirrel at LadySess08)**

**Lady-Sess08: (dodges squirrel and throws hedgehog at him) You can't do that! I'm a sophisticated young lady who's about to kick your ass now because you just threw Bullwinkle's friend Rocky at me and missed causing him to fly into the brick wall where mario was doing a paint job for Daisy because he decided to do adultery on Peach who IS Baby Bowser's REAL MOMA.**

**Junityke: ...**

**Lady-Sess08: Sorry 'bout that folks. This supposedly homo sapien is my partner in crime for coming up with the 'yo mama' jokes. Junityke, is there anything you wanna say to our viewers before we get started?**

**Junityke: Yes. I would like to say that I... supposedly homo sapien? Ok. Be that way. Oh and let's not forget to get it crunk! Anywho, I would like to say that Lady-Sess08's story would be nothing (as someone thinks it is from the reviews) without me, the greatest person ever to walk the Earth. Done.**

**Lady-Sess08: Will you PLEASE get over the whole 'crunk' thing. GOD! It's not my faultI didn't exactly kinda supposedly without a doubt know what it meant. An honest mishap anyone could have made.**

**Junityke: Well not anyone...**

**Lady-Sess08:...Can we please do the freakin chapter NOW?**

**Junityke: Go ahead. You're typing. Duh.**

**Lady-Sess08: Yeah cause everyone knows how slow you type. If you did all the chapter it would take all the way untill 2021 just for you to get to the second line of a paragraph. (smirks)**

**Junityke: What?**

**Lady-Sess08: ah ah ah. Less what(ing) more story coming...up ...with(ing)**

**Junityke: Your grammar is impeccable. AND it just so happens that I am a very good typer, unlike yourself.**

**Lady-Sess08: Now hold o--**

**Junityke: ANYWAY! On with the story.**

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**Chapter 2: 'Beef'. It's what's for dinner.**

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"Dogs barking, cats meowing, bums begging, and hookers hooking. Man your era IS fukced up!" Inuyasha sighed. He and Kagome were back in her time era, present Japan, and after about a half hour or so he was already pissed from walking through the busy streets with Kagome in her era's wierd attire. 

"AND I have to wear this damn stupid cap over my ears. AGAIN!" Inuyasha muttered under his breathe.

Kagome was eyeing a nearby window with the summer's latest designs. "Did you say something Inuyasha?"

"It's the same thing EVERY FREAKIN TIME" Inuyasha barked.

"What is? And would mind not being so loud. You're attracting attention to yourself." Kagome answered while still gazing upon the beautiful outfit she so desperately wanted.

Now Inuyasha was staring at her with the 'what the hell look' that spelled all across his face. "You didn't hear a word I said just now did you. Your soooo busy window shopping that eveything I said went in one ear and out the other. I guess it's true what Ross from 'Friends' sayid "...when it comes to guys EXPRESSING their feelings women have ears but hear not. They hear us but they're not LISTENING to us. Keh...I don't even know why you're even eyeing those clothes anyway because the only way you could afford them is if you do another _favor_ for your principal like how you did in order to pass the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th gra--"

"SIT" Kagome yelled at the top of her voice. 'BAM' came the sound where the halfdemon used to be which was now a hole. And on cement too. Ouch!

Kagome then power walked away leaving a crowd of people looking between the two."Damn her..." Inuyasha growled under his breathe. He was finally able to lift himself up from his man-made hole and took to where ever Kagome's scent might have went.

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Kagome was ata local park where she was swinging on one of the swings softly all whilehumming her favorite song 'Candy Shop'. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. It was warm outside, but not too hot because of the gentle breeze. Andnot a singlesign of any cloud lurked in the sky. 

Kagome then got off the swing and walked over to the thing, kids get on where they run real fast while pushing a metal bar and finally jump on sort of thing (anyone who knows what it's called please let me know) where she sat down and closed her eyes.

Just then WHAM. All of a sudden Kagome was being whirled round and round all while hangin on for dear life as the contraption she was on went spinning out of control.

Everything was blurry and she was about to faint until the 'thing' (really need to know what it's called guys) was brought to a complete stop making Kagome fly straight off of it and into a pile of dog manure. All that could be heard was a giant 'splat' from Kagome's impact and some anomynous laugh.

Kagome then got up slowly with dog s all covering her face and parts of her 'white' tank top. "I guess you really are a s head ...NOW, aren't ya!" Inuyasha cried with laughter.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome growled lowly.

"Nonono wait. I got one." Inuaysha cried while still laughing

"Inuyasha..." Kagome said again but in a more warning tone.

He then pulled out his tongue, held it and said 'Kagome lives in a pile of ships' only it came out as "..Kagome lives in a pile of sh."

Kagome then exploded: "That's it! Where do you get the nerve to tease me you little stupid ugly son of a bi$! Why, I should go around telling everyone about your..."

"Don't you say it" InuYasha suddenly said with the most serious face in the world.

"You're secret crush on Frankie Muniz" she said with a look of complete triumph as dog feces ran sown her face.

Inuyasha then barked: "You little tramp. I always thought you were a no good little whore. Oh. And by the way. The rhino called and said he wants his body back. And if you tell anyone about Frankie, I'll tell about your infatuation with..."

"You would'nt!" she said.

"Kaede!" Inuyasha choked before cracking up with laughter again.

"You know darn well Naruku had me under that..spell!" Kagome barked.

"Yeah...an infatuation spell.." Inuyasha teased.

Kagome: " Ya know what...Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks."

Inuyasha: '_I know she ain't just go there...ah HEllllZ to the naw...' "_Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for then new world"

Kagome: "You would talk about MY motherlike that, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha: "Damn straight..!"

Kagome: " Oh...well if that's the case...yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it!"

Inuyasha: " And yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Kagome: "Yo mama so greasy she used bacon asa band-aid!"

Inuyasha: "Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince!"

Kagome: "Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper!"

Inuyasha: "Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs!"

Kagome: "Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!"

Inuyasha: "Yo mama so bald you see whats on her mind!"

Kagome: "Yo mama so ugly just after she was born her mother said "What a Treasure" and her father said "Yeah, let's go burry it!"

Inuyasha: "Yo mama so poor her face on the front of a food stamp!"

Kagome: "Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight!"

Inuyasha:" Yo mama so skinny she had to wear a belt with spandex!"

Kagome: " Yo mama so dumb she got locken in a grocery store and starved!"

Inuyasha: "Yo mama so ugly when she was a stripper she made the most money because people paid her to put her clothes on!"

Out of nowhere, Sota walks up to the two standing between them now in a dead lock stare. "Hey guys...what's...goin...on...?" he asked as innocently as can be.

Kagome: Now Sota..now isn't the time or the place for the matter. So...why don't you go on home without me. Kay?"

Inuyasha: Yeah, ya little skinny bastard!"

Sota: Inuyasha...that hurt...I hate you, you good for nothing little son of a bit$# that sells himself on the corner for a dollar on Thursdays while during the rest of the week you stay at home with your husband Miroku who bangs you daily after you give him a sponge bath right before he anally rapes you while watching gay porn!"

With that Sota ran away crying all the home so that he could consult his problems to his best friend in the world who's always waiting for him on his bed, Chucky the (cough cough killer) doll. ( you know..from Child's Play)

Inuyasha just stood there having been torched, hoed, insulted, disgraced, belittled, and dissed once again, except this time by a mere child.

Kagome was still cracking up so much she couldn't speak.Actually in truth, she was hurled on the floor laughing away not being able to see or hear anything but her laughter in instant replays of Sota'soutburst in her mind,so Inuyasha quietly walked away with his head hanging low back to his own time.

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**Lady-Sess08: Well...that's all we have for today. Sorry it took so long. I mean...the last update was on the FIRST of March...(sighs) that won't happen again.**

**Junityke: (cough cough her fault) Yeah (she's) sorry about that folks. It won't happen again.**

**Lady-Sess08:...Annnnywaaayyys Tchao! R&R**


	4. Chapter 4

**Lady-Sess08: How's everyone been doing? Before I get this started I have a few announcements to make.**

**1st.) Junityke's not here so this chapter is solo writer. Good help is so hard to find these days. He's only excused because he's in JROTC and this week they went toDaytona Beachfor Nationals. (Big whoop)**

**2nd.) When he gets back we're going to post our new story called 'Inu-Karaoke' It's lol to the extreme. Let's just say that a certain character is going to do the imatation of one of Michael Jackson's songs. (hehehe gotta find out when it comes out)**

**3rd.) I broke my promise to updating and I'm really sorry for that so look forward to two chapters next place as a gift. It won't happen again. **

**4th.) It would be nice if you guys could put up any of your favorite songs that you think you might want an inu character to screach..I Imea Imean ..sing. Thank-you.

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**

**Chapter 4 When Demons Cap! (Part One)**

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It was a sunny day outside. Kagome and Inuyasha had been back from presemt time Japan for less than two hours and the two of them hadn't been getting along since. 

The group was traveling towards the west in search of a demon that was rumored to have had a fragment of the jewel shard. According to rumors, it was terrorizing villages with an unknown power with someting that had to deal with the usuge of its mouth.

Sango, Miroku, Kilala, and Shippo were walking behind Inuyasha and Kagome as the two were at it again in deep arguement over what happened while they were in Kagome's time (chap.3). One could hear their quarrel at least three miles away.

Sango: "Miroku, how long do you think this one is going to last?"

Inuyasha: "You had it comin' wench!"

Miroku: "(sigh) I don't know, but I think our concerns should probably be more concerned with the demon in the west."

Kagome: "WHAT! Are you kidding ME? You're the one who started this whole mess STUPID!"

Sango: "Yeah, I guess you're right...but still..."

Shippo: "Don't worry Sango, Kagome hasn't 'sat' Inuyasha yet..."

Inuyasha: "Kagome you're such a dumb a.."

Kagome: "Inuasha 'SIT'"

Miroku: "Couldn't say we didn't see that coming."

Shippo: "Inuyasha didn't."

Kilala meowed on Sango's right shoulder. Sango: "And for some reason he never does."

All of them sighed. Kagome was still walking ahead of everyone when she stopped at the top of the hill they were walking up.

Kagome: "Hey you guys. I can sense a jewel shard coming from that village."

Everyone walked up to were she was standing. Below the hill was a village and so was the aura of a demon. Dark clouds hovered over the center of the village releasing flashes of lightning.

Miroku: "I think this is the demon we kept hearing about."

Sango: "Yes, I think so too."

Shippo: "Looks scary..."

Inuyasha: "Feh. I don't give a damn just as long as we get the jewel shard." He then pulled out the tetsaiga (I think that's how you spell it) and jumped down towards the demonic aura within the village.

"Inuyasha wait...!" Miroku called but it was too late.

Kagome just looked on at the village when something caught her eye. "Hey guys, why are all of those people lined up at that shrine?"

Miroku: "Your right. And what seems more interesting is that they seemed to be lined up going towards the demonic aura."

Sango then yelled "Let's go Kilala" and the cat demon transformed into her 'big' form. Everyone then boarded and soared down into the village.

Shippo: "Um Kagome?...What happened between you and Inuyasha anyways?" he asked as innocently as can be.

Kagome:"..." she growled at the question making everyone anime sweat drop.

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(Meanwhile) Lord Sesshomaru was walking steadily patrolling his land accompanied by his retainer Jaken, his dragon Ah-Un, and his little follower Rin. 

Jaken: "Rin you probably wouldn't be so tired all the time if you walked more instead of being so lazy."

The group had been traveling all morning and Jaken and Rin were at it again.

Rin: "Lazy? I'm just resting on Ah-Un for a short while. Besides..the only thing I am tired of is listening to you talk." she stuck her tongue at him while folding her arms.

Lord Sesshomaru:"..."

Jaken: "Ahhh. Why you! Lord Sesshomaru?"

Lord Sesshomaru: "Jaken if you can not handle the situation then how am I supposed to place any of my trust in you." he said in a cold tone.

Jaken: "yesss, mi lord..." Rin giggled. "and just what's so funny to you human?" he spat at her.

Rin: "Your just mad because I was raised to handle stuff like this better than you."

Jaken: "WHAT? You were hardly raised at all. For all we know yo mama... Yo mama so stupid she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate".

Rin: "Howwouldyou know that?" she demanded

Jaken: "I took some of Inuyasha's wench's paper books (magazines) and I saw your ugly head under the ugly duckling reject section."

Rin:"(Gasp) Oh yeah, well I too read that same book and it said that Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds."

Jaken:"Lord Sesshomaru?" Jaken wailed.

Lord Sesshomaru:"Rin...you will not use such language anymore. Understood?"

Rin:"Yes mi lord." Jaken fell anime style.

Jaken:"Ok then. Rin. Yo mama's so fat, she auditioned for Indiana Jones and won the big rolling ball part."

Rin:"Yo mama's so fat when she puts on her clothes, they beg for mercy."

Jaken:"Yo mamma's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time."

Rin:"Yo mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out."

Jaken:"Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: mercury, venus, earth, mars..."

Rin:"Yo mama's so fat she sells shade in the summer."

Jaken:"Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a Nintendo 64 and it turned into a Gameboy."

Rin:"Yo mama's so fat she makes Free Willy look like a Tic Tac."

Jaken:"Yo mama's so fat her yearbook picture took up pgs 25, 26, AND 27."

Rin:"Yo mama's so fat she gotta wear a sock on EACH toe."

Just then Lord Sesshomaru stopped. Jaken was about to go on when his lord called for his attention. "Jaken" Rin had automatically quieted down.

Lord Sesshomaru: "I can sense a demon nearby..."

Jaken: "yes..I believe there's a village nearby as well. But what is that I sense with it?That half-breed brother of yours!

Lord Sesshomaru:'Inuyasha...' He then continued walking towards the direction of the village. Jaken with Rin sitting on Ah-Un followed him afterwards giving him a good four feet in front of them.

Just then, a shadow bird demon showed up out of nowhere.Itflew at a mach 5 left and right over the group before performing dive bomb attacks at Sesshomaru. Tokigenwas released by Sesshomaru buthad littleif no effect at all on the shadow demon.Then, out ofnowhere, the demonstabbed Sesshomaruonhisarm.

The raven demon then caused a dust storm flinging Rin into the air which was imposssible to see in. It then grasped her andheaded towards the village. All that was heard was a cry for help in the distance "Lord Sesshomaru!" .

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**Lady-Sess: I know it's sort of different from the usual format but the 2nd part totally makes up for it. Trust Me. Oh yeah. Expect another chap this week cause Juni's back and I promised I would have another one. Don't forget to Read and Review.**


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